What if…

Do you ever have scenarios pop into your head and then you find yourself asking, “What if that really did happen?”

Just last night I was riding the 4 train into the city and found myself putting a fresh piece of Orbit (that’s chewing gum for those of you who are still on bazooka) in my mouth. As I began chewing someone sat down right next to me. New Yorkers have no concept of personal space, so our legs were touching and our arms were rubbing against each other.

Then it occurred to me…what if as I was chewing my gum it fell out of my mouth and rolled in to my new neighbor’s lap? Do I pretend it wasn’t mine and now chew an imaginary piece of gum in my mouth? Do I pick it up and continue chewing it? Do I brush it off their lap (this seems like a major invasion of their personal space and borderline harassment) and just apologize? Basically, I’m probably better off not chewing gum on trains.

Next, as if the terror of gum falling out of your mouth wasn’t enough, my brain continued with the embarrassing (but yes funny) scenarios. As I trekked from the train to a bar to meet a friend (a very funny friend) another “what if” sprang to life. \

Basically, every time we link up we laugh (a lot) and I was prepared for this going in–but how much was I going to laugh is the question? At this point in my own private conversation with myself is when a “what if” popped into my mind. What if my friend said something so funny that I spit my drink out and hit three people (or more) with my backwash and vodka soda? My initial thought is, “Does this mean I have to buy them all a drink?”

What would you do?

Sam [@sams0ngz]

3 thoughts on “What if…

  1. I’d honestly probably… look stunned for a moment, then start laughing uncontrollably… then I’d run… not just run I mean grab my bag… and run for my life… text my friend when I got to the corner and tell them I’d see them next time. So embarrassing. 😩🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿

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  2. I’m not sure if this question is rhetorical or not- but there is a comment box, so I’ll assume it’s not.

    Let’s see….. I would first guage my audience to see how they responded to my little oopsies. If they were seemingly reasonable, I would use it as an icebreaker to become their new best friend. If they were angry, I would use my go-to deaf accent because it’s disarming, confusing and has the ability to deflate pretty much any sticky situation.

    Sincerely,

    Your insightful reader

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    1. LOL. I’m dying right now! Like legit laughing so hard. I never even considered a deaf accent but that would be helpful in so many situations. What’s some times you’ve used it?

      Always feel free to comment. Even if it seems rhetorical!

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